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A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

If I had a donkey and you had a chicken and if my donkey ate your chicken what will we have? Three feet of you cock up my ass.

What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber.

If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"? The swallow.

I would tell you a penis joke… But I don’t want to come across as cocky.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.