Look at my cock pulsating as my cock spits out my hot seed from

I would tell you a penis joke… But I don’t want to come across as cocky.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.

What’s a good way to masturbate??? Get somebody to do it for you

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

If you were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that your addiction got out of hand?

My boyfriend went to bed naked. I think he has a boner to pick with me.

What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist? One does hand jobs and one does blow jobs!

The bacteria found in yogurt is the same one found in a vagina.

A "busy beaver" sounds like a derogatory term for a sexually promiscuous woman

Cheating is not an accident. Falling off a bike is an accident... You don't just trip and fall into a vagina.

A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it's time to go inside

Why do people say "Grow some balls" balls are so weak & sensitive you ought to say "Grow a vagina" those things really take a pounding.

What's the difference between a big cat and a little cat? A big cat can scratch hell out of you, but a little pussy never hurt anybody!