Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

Why don't stoners get into arguments? Because they take the high road.

What did the stoner at the party say before the cops came? Let's blow this joint.

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber

Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? Because they're all in HIGH school

If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard? A Joint Family.

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

I would tell you a penis joke… But I don’t want to come across as cocky.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.

What’s a good way to masturbate??? Get somebody to do it for you

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

If you were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that your addiction got out of hand?

My boyfriend went to bed naked. I think he has a boner to pick with me.