A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've be...

Condoms? Hah! Those are for pussies!

Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!

Instead of "Who's your mommy" I accidentally said, "How's your mommy" and we put our clothes back on and started discussing his mom's breast cancer.

What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Gum!

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.

That pussy though entails a quick announcement: brought to you by Charles Darwin: Women might have evolved to stay with partners who eat pussy

This reminds me of what Adam could have said to Eve the first time they had sex: Stand back, I'm not sure how much bigger it'll get!

Looks delicious just like a grapefruit! How is a pussy like a grapefruit though? The best ones squirt when you eat them

Ahh memories! This just came to mind right now. Way back when I was inexperienced performing oral sex for the first time. I asked, "Am I doing it right?" To which he replied, "Not if you're talking."

So I am going to just cum out and say it, my boyfriend caught me masturbating with a carrot. His first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

Damn, look at that! Ahh why is it that IT guys here can't keep girlfriends though? They turn them all off and on again.

Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.

Guys! Give your ladies an Australian kiss. It's the same as a French kiss, but down under.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.